Webster’s defines caring as ‘Displaying kindness and concern for others’. How well put that is. Funny how poets, philosophers and religious and spiritual teachers always mention LOVE as the glue that binds us… and it should. Yet, to this writer the essential word should be Caring. Isn’t that what Love really is, to show kindness and concern for others, and not just one individual we pinpoint as our focus?

My wife, my best friend, sidekick and business partner for over 30 years is dying less than a mile from our home. She is in a bed in a hospice care center (and man, are those folks the epitome of caring?) slipping deeper into severe cancer pain while heavily dosed with three different narcotics. All a guy can do is sit by her bedside and tell her how much I love her and care for her… immersed in the salt water that flows like rain through a letterbox.

As a young boy I can recall so many incidents that sharpened my ability to Care. I remember being in 3rd grade and standing in line for three o’clock dismissal at PS 177. There was a girl from my class and her little brother waiting behind me, and they looked frightened. I asked why. The girl said that some boys had been teasing them about their red curly hair and freckled faces. “They called us Piggies,” she cried. “And said they were going to get us when we left today!” I told them not to worry as I would protect them both. I said “Walk right behind me when we leave and no one’s gonna hurt you!” The bell rang, the doors opened and I led the way out ready to fight anyone who bothered them. No one did. This was an early lesson learned, by both the two kids and me, about what Caring is all about.

All throughout my marriage to this wonderful and caring woman, I learned from her all about just that. She would stop our morning neighborhood walks for a brief few moments to go and pet all the many dogs we encountered. She loved dogs and befriended all of them. So much so that as she became unable to go walking with me during her cancer treatment period, our neighbors would bring their dogs to our home so she could sit outside and visit with them. She sat there with a bag of treats in hand and visited with dog and master or mistress. She recently slipped deeper into her illness and became unable to go outside, even for a few minutes, and it broke my heart to see this.

When her time with us all is completed I will understand fully just what the real meaning of Caring is.

PA Farruggio
April 2026