He loved his parents more than one would know. So much so, that when he graduated college he decided to forgo getting his own place and stay at home. There was too much constant bickering between his parents and it frightened him. Deep inside he believed that without him around the bickering would turn into terrible yelling and screaming. So, he stayed. Finally, a few years later he needed his own place… for privacy and calm. The parents moved to New Jersey, but he still saw them regularly. Being a ‘ good son’ he always kept his parents’ emotional situation from his friends. Let’s face it, he was embarrassed to lower the high pedestal he had for his Mom and Dad and acknowledge that they too had powerful flaws. He did become someone who knew how to hide many truths concerning those he cared for and of course himself.
Going on 70 he was still a loner, except for when he played professional drumming. He could be a social man when he wanted to, or more importantly, when he needed to. He never married or even lived with a woman… ever! He was a man who had certain ‘ Wants’ as to the opposite sex, and never did connect. He learned to live with the piece of the puzzle that he once yearned for. When it came to his friendships , he was a man who always showed a caring and an empathy that was unmatched. He would do just about anything for a friend , especially one in trouble. Generous to a fault, he could be almost saint like. Anyone who ever came into contact with him could see an innocent, really childlike grace that he exhibited. His parents were certainly lucky.
Once his Dad and Mom began to show deep slippage he came to their rescue. He would drive the 90 minutes from his apartment to their home and stay overnight. This he did a few times a week, until his dad got worse. They had a great insurance plan and he was able to find a health care aide to stay with them. As his dad was drifting off , soon to leave, the insurance plan had run out. So, he just continued to pay the agency from his own pocket… thousands of dollars each month. He would do a lot of the aide’s work, just to show his parents how much he cared. And he did! Dad died and he spent more days and nights at his Mom’s than at his own place. You could find him lately sitting next to his mother, helping to feed her and even clean her. As she began to babble incoherently more than not, he just ignored it. Mom said it: ” He’s a good son.
P.A. Farruggio
October 2022