If one was making his life into a movie, Larry would be played by Michael Richards AKA Kramer. He was 6′ 2 with that same kooky hair that Kramer had. Always slouched down a bit, with the quintessential cigarette dangling from his mouth, Larry didn’t walk… he marched like a soldier pushed by heavy winds into battle. When he arrived each weekday morning at Noveltrux Corp to man the phones, Larry was second to arrive only to Gloria. Gloria was another trip herself, resembling a woman who could easily had been actor William Bendix’s sister. She arrived at 39 East 20th Street, exiting the RR train from Bensonhurst, Brooklyn before Terrence the stock boy had time to open up. Then Larry would arrive, stepping off the elevator on the 10th floor like General Patton marching off of a Navy transport into Sicily. Gloria may have taken her time to get settled in her cubicle, but not him. Larry quickly grabbed a cup of Terrence’s newly brewed java, lit another fag and off into his cubicle. By the time the rest of us got to the office, Larry was busy pitching. And no one pitched like him.
Gorgi, the Hungarian boss , refused to purchase industry directories ( too expensive, he pleaded) so we all had a myriad of yellow telephone books to call from. Larry and Gloria really didn’t care at all. ” There’s plenty of money in those yellow monsters” he would boast. So while Gloria was giving her phone pitch sob story of having to go for another mastectomy, forcing her to close her office supply business, Larry was deep into his pitch. The first thing he did was to ask to speak to the general manager or owner of the company. Once he reached the man Larry would begin. Within a half a minute the guy would inform Larry that this all had to go through his purchasing department and he gave him the person in charge’s name. Larry would thank him and redial, asking for that person.
” Hello Mr. Grant, Mr. Egan told me to contact you. My name is Bob Grayson and I own Noviltrux Corporation, an office supply company my late father opened 30 years ago. I have been running the business since he passed away five years ago. Before that I was a college instructor at City College here in NYC. Well, as luck would have it I was recently accepted by UNICEF to teach in London on a five year contract. I have to leave in two weeks and must close out my remaining inventory. Last week I was able to get Goldsmith Brothers to buy all of my office furniture. All I have left are my minor essentials, you know pencils, pens, paper, staples and scotch tape at 60 % off.” He then began going over the items: ” On the pencils I have the AW Faber, not the cheaper brand. As you know Faber pencils are made with the finest lead and outlast the competition at least three times longer. What # pencils are you mostly using sir? (Pause) On the # 2 I had 100 gross last week, but was able to sell most of them, so I am down to 10 gross. Please find a home for these. Everyone uses a pencil throughout the day. He then went on to the markers: ” I carry the Taurus fine line and heavy markers, not the cheaper Japanese ones. If you read last month’s Stationer’s Newsletter you saw that the Taurus markers wrote 200 feet longer than their competitors. Plus the fact that these markers are hermetically sealed at the factory. Nothing on the market is better quality. What colors do your people use?” Before you knew it Larry had wrapped up over a $600 order, something the rest of us would write, if lucky, after a couple of days.
The real fun being up at the office was the kidding we all did. Larry was as talented a comedian I had ever seen. His impressions were as good as those of Rich Little, who at that time was looked upon as the best out there. Larry could do a great Henry Kissinger and Burt Lancaster, as well as Tony Curtis, Duke Wayne, Rod Steiger and so many others. He was unreal. Everything about this guy was funny as hell. Going to lunch with him was also a trip in itself. We would usually go around the corner to Andrews Coffee Shop with our favorite waitress, Lulu. She was a fifty something New Yorker, built like a linebacker, and as light on her feet as one could imagine. Lulu allowed us to kid with her, and always gave it back. The real comedy of it all was watching Larry order his lunch each time. It would go like this: ” Lulu, let me have… how is the Moisakos? Is it fresh, I mean when was it made?” Lulu assured him it was made that morning. ” OK , let me have the…oh, I don’t know if I really want that. What’s the soup today Lulu?” She told him it was made this morning also. ” OK, I don’t know… Alright, I’ll have” and together they both said ” Tuna Salad on toast and a cup of coffee.”
Fridays were payday and a few guys and myself had it all laid out. First thing we did was get our paychecks and run to the bank to cash them. We trusted Gorgi and his band of Hungarian gypsies as far as we could see them. Then, Larry and I would decide do we go to Little Italy for a humongous lunch, or go to the track? Three out of four times the track won out. Since they were running at Aqueduct our only recourse was to share a cab from the city to the track, which was in Queens (When May and June rolled around they were running at Belmont Racetrack on Long Island, and the LIRR had a special train going there twice an hour). If we were going to Aqueduct then we needed one or two more guys to share the cab. Larry just went up to the Hungarian bandits… sorry, salesmen… and recruited. Usually, it was Laslo Talfi , who we knew as ‘ Dr. Vere.’ Laslo was what the Hungarians called a ‘ Stocer’ or reorder man. Meaning that he would call one of the paid orders that another salesman had made AKA Pinks, because their copies were on pink paper, and do his thing with a heavy German accent:
“Hello Sister ( he was calling one of the Catholic Schools that Larry had sold previously) my name is Dr. Vere. I was told to contact you from Mrs. Bob Grayson, whose husband sold you office supplies from his company in NYC, Noveltrux. She wanted me to thank you for the payment and has some rather sad news for you sister. Bob was in a car accident last week and passed away. His wife said your payment came in handy and she picked up a nice thank you gift for you. I told her I was going to be flying into Indianapolis this week on business and would drop it off with you at the school. Well, I had a change of itinerary and cannot get in person to your school. I am at the Grayson’s accountant’s office and he will ship the present for you today. Can I have the exact address please Sister? “( She gives it to him) OK, I will send it today, and please let Mrs. Grayson know when you receive it Sister. I will leave her mailing address. Thank you so much and goodbye… OH! I almost forgot Sister. This jet lag coming from Europe is terrible. Sister, Mrs. Grayson’s accountant, George Gilbert, said he is still holding a few small cartons of those fine line markers and scotch tape that you purchased from Bob. He cannot keep them here, so please do Mrs. Grayson a favor and take them. They are the black and red markers that you use, and everyone always needs scotch tape.” ( Once she agrees to help) ” And, please Sister, do not forget to send Mrs. Grayson a note on the thank you present. Have a nice day and I will tell her you were able to help out.” The irony of it all was that this was one of Larry’s accounts, but since none of us, even Larry, had no bargaining power ( You don’t like it this way then LEAVE) all orders went to the house…period.
Once Larry and I got Laslo to come along with us, we were off. At Aqueduct we hurried inside so as to catch the first race, which was 10 minutes to post. Laslo quickly bid us adieu as we bought our programs, and I got a Racing Form. What happened to Talfi I asked? ” Oh, he runs off to find some pigeons for one of his money scams.” (He laughs) ” The guy is a trip, with his French cut suits and Brian Jones Rolling Stones haircut.” ( laughs now loudly). He’s probably going to do his airport watch scam. At the airport or even at a racetrack, Talfi finds a sucker and does his shtick. He tell the guy he has to get to the airport within the hour for a flight to Europe. Says he is a psychologist, Dr. Vere, and had his wallet stolen on the bus ride out here. Then he shows his gold watch and says he’ll give it up for $100, even though it’s worth $1000. ( really laughs aloud) Of course he buys them from one of his Hungarian contacts for $10. By the time the sucker realizes it and the ‘ Gold’ starts to fade from the piece, Talfi is on the next floor of the grandstand making his bets. Guy’s a degenerate gambler!” Larry and I went to the betting line to cast our first race action. We stood on separate lines, adjacent to one another. He would hold his program in one hand, a cigarette in the other, continually glancing up at the odds board. He had this so called ‘ system’ of watching where the late action was going, within a minute or two before post time the key. So, here he was, acting like more of a traffic cop than a bettor, waving people passed him as he glanced upwards. Now, he was right at the window, still looking upwards and at his program in a consecutive motion, cigarette drooping from his mouth. The teller snapped at Larry that he had to bet or get off the line. The people behind him were shouting at him to ‘ Get the hell out of the way!’ Nothing fazed Larry. Now his only focus was on the program. ” OK let me see… give me a two dollar exacta on 4-2… No make it a two dollar box. Then give me five to win on the four… No, 10 to win. Give me a dollar triple 472 , dollar triple on ( The race was now off) and… oh shit, did you get that last one in pal? ”
There was one time when Larry came into my office ( more like cubicle) one morning bragging how he met a jockey agent on Sunday at Keystone Racetrack in Philly. What the hell was he doing at Keystone on a Sunday I asked? ” Ayela ( his Israeli wife) took the kid to her mother’s for the day, so I figured I’d take the Keystone bus at the Port Authority. Now, listen carefully to this. On the bus I meet this guy, Joe Rateria, who was a jockey agent for Angel Pineda at Garden State Racetrack. He gets information from the jockey, really good info. He’s thinking about going to the track today and doesn’t have a ride from Brooklyn. Yeah, the guy comes from your neck of the woods, with the rest of you guineas. ( He laughs with his broken front tooth laugh that he never got fixed). You got your car parked in Brooklyn by the subway. Ya wanna go and make some money?” How could I resist? We hurried to the 14th Street subway and within 40 minutes we were in my parked car by the Kings Highway station. We picked up Joe outside the Off Track Betting office on Ave U and off we flew to Jersey. While Larry and I had a quick lunch at the track’s cafeteria Joe said he was going to meet with Pineda. Race 1 was upcoming and Joe gave us the horse Pineda recommended. I actually liked a different horse but we both took the plunge on Pineda’s pick. Horse ran fifth, behind my initial pick, which ran third. This went on all day. Joe would go by the jock’s room, wait for Pineda’s signal and give it to us. Losers, losers, losers all afternoon. Finally, we got to the last race, race nine. I told Larry I was finished with this guy’s shit. I liked the five horse in race nine and was going to go my own way. ” Come on, you cannot bail on this guy. He’s due!” Joe came by where we were sitting. I told him that this was not going so good. He said Pineda was riding in this race and LOVED his horse, a three to one shot. Larry was vehement that we pooled our money, whatever we had left, and wheeled Pineda’s horse, up and back in the exacta, just in case he finished second. Joe asked us to cover his share of the wheel as well. Pineda’s horse ran out and the one I had picked actually won at 2 to 1. Joe was going to speak to Pineda and I had it with him. I’m leaving Larry, and I ain’t taking him with me. He’s full of shit! Larry said ” You can’t do that. The guy just had a bad day. We can’t leave him here in Jersey.” I told Larry he had a choice, to come with me or go home with Joe on the bus. The next day at work Larry said that Joe was gonna get me and fix me for leaving him at Garden State. That was over 50 years ago. If it was today, with everyone packing, I would be scared shit. But then was then and a guy could take so much bullshit.
Within a year of the incident I had opened up my own phone room on Long Island and Larry stayed at Noveltrux. He said he was a ‘ City guy’ and would never leave it for what he called ‘ The Sticks’.
PA Farruggio
January 2025